53
Welcome to Hognsorts
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"Welcome students!" Professor Slumblebore, the headmaster of Hogsnorts School of Magic, smiles down at the assembled children, yellowish teeth glinting through his long grey beard.

"I have a few things to say to you before the House Sorting ceremony, where the first years are allocated to their Houses.

"Firstly, study hard!

"Secondly, five points deducted from Lionpaw House due to Robert and Alex Bleezeley piloting an unauthorised flying car in Hogsnorts airspace and endangering the lives of themselves and all the other children in the school when they drove straight at the flying monkeys carrying all the students to Hogsnorts."

A groan went up from all the children in Lionpaw House who shoot venomous looks at Robert and Alex.

"Thirdly, ten points awarded to Lionpaw House due to an excellent emergency landing by Robert Bleezeley on the Hogsnorts school lawn!"

Slumblebore beamed at them and the Lionpaw kids cheered, and slapped Robert and Alex on the back, laughing.

"Fourthly, we appear to have an insect infestation in the school. Our Care of Magical Creatures Professor Mr Knid is leading the eradication efforts - " Slumblebore pauses to acknowledge a flamboyantly caped teacher sitting next to him " - although so far the little pests have proved stubbornly resistant. So I would ask all students that if they come across a spider in a corridor or in the classroom, please tread on it."

You notice Professor Knid grimace, no doubt embarrassed about his failure to control the infestation.

"Fifthly, on no account are any children to enter the dungeon this term. We have picked up indications of some extremely malevolent magic taking place down there. I have cast an enchantment of locking on the door and we are going to leave whatever it is going on down there well alone, thank you!"

You notice all the other children whispering to each other - what could be going on in that dungeon that makes even Slumblebore afraid?

"Lastly, despite what I said last year I'm afraid Hogsnorts still doesn't have an internet connection. As you know the magical aurora interferes with mobile phone signals, and I'm afraid Professor Adeptus has not yet been able to figure out the correct incantations to get the WiFi router working."

Another groan, this time from all of the students, followed by disappointed muttering.

"But now, on to the child sorting!" Slumbedore raises his hands for silence. "Open the hole!"

A student scurries forward and pulls a lever by the platform at the front of the hall. Just in front of Slumblebore a huge stone flagstone slides slowly to one side leaving an opening in the floor.

Craning your neck, you can see nothing but darkness, and some wooden steps leading down inside. There is total silence in the hall as if the students don't dare even to breathe.

From out of the hole emerges... a noise. A sort of high pitched musical voice but made by what you have no idea.

"Silence everybody," instructs Slumblebore, "we are about to hear this year's Sorting Song."