155
Jape's joke time
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You raise your hand and most of the other children do the same.
"Brilliant!" says Professor Jape, "How about this one."
"What did the science teacher use to freshen her breath?"
You and the other students look politely blank faced.
"Experimints!" says Jape with a laugh. "D'you get it? Experi-mints?"
"That's a terrible joke!" you whisper to Daniel.
"Ok children, next one:
"Why don't scientists trust atoms?
"Because they make up everything!"
"I quite like that one" Daniel whispers to you.
"Right next one. A boy comes up to me, he says: I think my maths teacher loves me. Well why do you think that then? I ask him. Well, he says, she keeps putting little kisses next to all my sums!" Professor Jape bursts out laughing, thoroughly enjoying himself. "D'you see? She keeps on putting kisses by the sums - you like crosses because this little fella keeps getting him sums wrong, hahahaha."
A few groans and shouts of laughter in the room.
"Right, listen to this." Jape continues. "There was this fella Nigel who worked in a zoo, mucking out the cages and whatnot. Well one day the orangutan got sick and I'm sorry to say, he died. Now this orangutan was the star attraction, so the owner of the zoo says to this fella: 'Listen Nigel: I want you to dress up in an orangutan suit. The visitors will never know the difference. Without my orangutan star attraction I'm worried the zoo is going to have to close down.' So Nigel put on the orangutan suit and at first felt very self-conscious with all the visitors staring at him and laughing whenever he did anything. But after a while he started to enjoy it, being an orangutan, entertaining the crowd. He started swinging on the ropes going higher and higher, but then... he went too high by mistake and accidentally swung over the wall into the next enclosure - the lion enclosure! Well Nigel was terrified, and the lion - he looked furious. Nigel forgot all about pretending to be an orangutan and started shouting out 'Help! Help! Someone save me!'. The lion gave an almighty roar, and charged over to Nigel. The lion put his face right next Nigel and whispered: 'keep quiet you nincompoop or you'll give us all away!'"
Professor Jape bursts into uncontrollable high pitched giggling and lots of the other children laugh too.
"Right children," says Jape. "That's all we've got time for in this lesson. I hope you had a good laugh, I know I did. See you next time."
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1. You go back to the main hall to decide what to learn next, wondering if all your lessons will be this fun! ~ Go to number 117