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Jape's joke time
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You raise your hand and most of the other children do the same.

"Brilliant!" says Professor Jape, "How about this one."

"Why do aliens find it so much bother to drink a cup of tea?"

You and the other students look politely blank faced.

"Flying saucers!" says Jape with a laugh. "D'you get it? Eh?"

"That's a terrible joke!" you whisper to Snako.

"Ok children, next one:

"Why did the toilet paper roll down the stairs of the Snakefang house tower? Come on, any guesses? No?

"To get to the bottom! You know: bottom. Bottom! Your bum! You wipe your bum with toilet paper! Oh you lot are hopeless."

"That's pretty good actually" Snako whispers to you.

"Right next one. Do you ever file your toe nails? Anyone?" shouts out Professor Jape thoroughly enjoying himself now. "Yes? I don't, I just throw them away! I don't file them, I throw them away, d'you see?"

A few groans and shouts of laughter in the room.

"Who was the fastest runner of all time? Adam, he was the first in the human race!"

"Right, listen to this." Jape continues. "There was a football match in the jungle. The elephants versus the insects. Eleven a side. The match starts and the elephants are all over the insects. Within five minutes they've already scored two goals. At half time it's 21 nil to the elephants. Then at half time the insects bring on a new player: a centipede. This centipede is amazing!. His feet move so quickly the elephants just can't stop him. In four minutes he's got a hat-trick. In ten minutes he's got a hat-trick of hat-tricks. When the game finishes the insects win 28 goals to 21. Now then, after the game the captain of the elephants goes over to congratulate the captain of the insects on their victory. 'But what I don't understand' he says, 'is why didn't you start the match with the centipede?' 'Well' replies the insect captain, 'we would do but it takes 'im forty-five minutes to get his boots on!'"

Professor Jape bursts into uncontrollable high pitched giggling and lots of the other children laugh too.

"Right children," says Jape. "That's all we've got time for in this lesson. I hope you had a good laugh, I know I did. See you next time."